fixate

i fixate on the sex
to suppress other fears
i fixate on the sex
as you are not near

and if you were here
i would continue to
fixate on the sex
to distract from your
departure

inevitable

and when you leave
i will
fixate on the sex
to forget that
other feeling
i feel now
always
in the pit
in the back
in the hidden place
i love you

least i think i do

tried so hard
not to
love you
so i think
i fixate on the sex
in case i truly do
love you

(what a shame
i have separated
the two)