times neue roman -

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a moratorium

today is monday
i declare a moratorium on men this monday
i will call it 'no more men monday.'

on this day, i solemnly vow
to discontinue sex with men
temporarily
(this is attempt number two -
hoping there won't be a number three)
to free my mind of 'it' as a necessity
of 'it' as a distraction, a preoccupation, a potential
tragedy.

but men only.
apologies.

note to self

another year is passing...

don't be so hard on yourself this time,
be easy,
there's so much more to come.

if you don't forgive yourself -
others will not.

remember to schedule more
and make a budget next time

everything can be undone
and rebuilt again.

don't regret -
you can change it.

you're not dead yet -
nightmares can be resolved.

i won't stand for shame.
i will stand for truth -
truth for healing. only healing.
no more truth for hurting. no more.

you can't know what was
'a waste'
until the very end.
even then,
to call it a waste
would show a severe lack of
humility

for if you are humble enough to see
nothing was ever wasted
if it was given a try at all.

remember what's important

important technique - life mapping - begin last year, chart all meaningful events and connections to following occurrences, culminate in potential forward movements

important questions - what have i learned? a new lesson? was it a re-learning? an un-learning?

important ideas - compassion and mindfulness. accountability and integrity. time is always.