the heat

today the heat came dirty - the way it does on the east coast; humid, muggy, intense heat - beautiful. i love it. it's like a gift. it's like good behavior leave after serving a long sentence of solitary confinement. and now is when we all enjoy it - later, people begin to hate the heat and wish for breeze and cool - i will still love it. make it 31 everyday. make it hotter. make it so hot i have to bathe in the evening. like i did this evening, take a short nap just to get dolled up again.. the streets are cooler now.. perfect for walking to a party... how could i not head out to a jam known as 'the good people party'...

new meaning to the word ruckus

i love the word ruckus, it connotes noise and strife and rebel and especially taking action because one must make a ruckus, they don't just exist independant of action, you gotta push and pull and make, throw, raise, cause a ruckus.

so I seriously enjoyed this democracy now report about the Ruckus Society, a group that trains citizens in civil disobediance in today's world with a focus on media; a great place to start in my opinion - we are a people consumed by misinformation and disinformation, a people abused by an absence of quality information, news and commentary - listen to democracy now and read the guardian, if you fear daily that news is dying (like I do.)

not good at grown up -

I am not good at grown up
Checking mail
Balancing budgets
Wholesome dinners
Regular exercise
It seems I am not capable of these things

Whereas I am very good at
Existential exploration
Social conversation
Spending way outside my income
And generally living at random.

I figure I ought to stay a kid or flee western society
That infantilizes, then reprimands
only to follow with more demands of normalcy.

like water i guess

those who know me know that i have spent the two short years since graduation (just a wee lil undergraduate type thingie) feeling more or less like water - spilled all over, impossible to hold, fleeting, transient, fluid, ... then when contained (read employed) i feel stale, limited, no restricted, on the edge of turning sour and discolored.

as a student it's easy to pick up purpose from a program or a project
as a friend it's easy to pick up purpose for a time
as a woman it's easy to pick up purpose from a man (Zaki Ibrahim, Computer Girl "Will you ever need me just like i need you, make my life smooth, show me what do do")

as myself, I have some simple sense of purpose (live, learn, teach, write) but much confusion remains as to how to get to the doing in an active, consistent way... in reflection... maybe i make it too complicated... i'll figure it out. trust.

either way, this article, resonates with me like a old brick dashed away into a bottomless pond.

ThinkToronto

Spacing Toronto is giving young city dwellers the opportunity to present their plan to improve public space!

Basic rules - you must be Canadian, 35yrs or younger, individual or groups of up to 3 and you can submit AS MANY PLANS AS YOU WISH!!

Check out the ThinkToronto Campaign here. Submission deadline: September 22nd, 2008

again about the work - sorry.

sitting here on the 36th floor in this tower i am suffocating.
i tug at the top of my black turtleneck sweater;
is that what is choking me?
i squint and wince
feign polite salutations to passerbys
i swallow salty saliva vomit
keep the screams down
there is a dulling sensation at my temples
i fear my mind is oozing from my ears invisible
it appears i am most inconscpicous
they don't heed me
stealing pens and notebooks and faking phsyical presence
they don't see me
scribbling furisouly under my desk whenever ideas descend

good.

please stop askin me bout obama

it is only too convenient obama will run to be president for what will arguably be the four darkest years in American history (what makes a better scapegoat than a women? I know, a black man!) - it's like winning a prize and opening the bag only to find a steaming pile of doodoo that you never smelled coming. fool. leave it to crazy mccain (not that x amount of years in a POW camp wouldn't leave us all a little loopy.)

a little explanation to ze post below -

i suck at talking to dudes (engage in a conversation with a man i don't know who gives me feeling, i mean)

so on saturday when the frenchman pressed against me
i explained coyly, "je m'excuse mais il faut s'eloigner,
on se regarde dans les yeux, on est presser serrer
- depuis quand est ce qu'on se connais?"

so sometimes i'll convince myself we're friends
still i might be secretly attracted to you.
but if i face it, sorry, friendship's over
cause it seems i can't talk to dudes.

the courrier came back

the courrier came back and the mail room fellas notified me as per my very serious instructions and i sat at my desk petrified - now he's gone. i'm still here. sweet. wanna talk about skills? i have zero.

get famous (say it dirty, like 'get lost')

celebrity is a sickness
we are all obsessed - don't deny it.
them with us (that we hate or love; any strong sentiment)
we with them (we love to hate openly & hate that we love secretly)
quite defeats the point of movie-making
audiences relate face/name to fact/rumour
it is impossible to become the character
when the myth of you is social structure
and your face is marketing material
now the role, scene and story
are all unreal, unbelievable, untenable.
(better to rent a foreign film.)

a laugh (if you know me)

I called a flight centre to talk to a friend, gave my name (Jamilah pronounced ja-mee-la) and was greeted by my friend bustin' a gut -

why? because her co-worker said, "There's a Jimmy Rizlink is on the phone for you"

Jimmy Rizlink - nice... i think if i get "famous" that'll be my hotel reservation fake name...

better yet, if i get into the rap game, i think i've got myself a serious emcee alias - don't you?

World Food Summit - up to the minute reports

The UN has gone high tech - visit the Food Summit live feed

But watch out - The Guardian has got a newsblog on the summit

ActionAid has produced the following with The Elders :

it seems rap is in overhaul, mind you, they doin it well overseas

since my first RAP TRAXX tapes, i have loved the music... i'm sure we can all agree hip hop has largely gone to hell since our youth, but recent findings have me convinced that rap is in transformation and preparing for one helluva comeback.

some recent findings include:

the cool kids and the shapshifters in the states

the 84.85 and times neue roman in canada

but more recent findings have me convinced that France is doing it better;

i loved french rappers in the days of IAM, mc solaar and saian supa crew (thank god one former member is back with new ish this year vicelow's blue tape came out in April, ex-bandmate sir samuel released vize pli o in 2005 - these boys make my heart heave, so so luverly) but the scene stays hype with TTC who call their style "music for kids with hoverboards" - group members don't stop at one group, check em out: la caution , tido berman , teki latex , cuizinier... and it seems french djs are more organized than the mafia - see parisdjs.com

here are some links to help you stay up on the french rap scene:
lucky for anglophones, YO LA LA produces an english podcast to stay up on french hip hop

bboykonsion.com is a site devoted to french hip hop and reggae artists (in french)

and frenchrap.de is home to super current, underground mixtapes (in french)
...

faut bien ecouter cheri(e),
c'est la verite ce qu'ils disent,
car le rap francais laisse le banlieu s'exprime.

dear reader

eyes on this page
electronic affirmation
i exist

random thoughts
tailored template
paint a picture

of my person
wish i had
one of you

thank you
reader

rims in my periphery

as a person who would give her right eye to see better out of the left (not even like fighter-pilot improve, just like marginal-can-see-out-fifteen-feet-clearly improve) this article "Beyond Glasses" really gave me hope. seriously. traveling with glasses is the lamest.

aahhh mix tapes...

I used to distribute mix tapes under the alias Dj Jams (i know, not too original) all over highschool... but none to crushes, so i guess i can't submit anything to these guys but if you're still holding on to a tape for or from and old flame, why not submit it for digital reproduction online at cassettefrommyex.com - very cool.

plastic bags - the plight of the third world (or "developing world" if that makes you feel better, kind reader)

i hate plastic bags.

mostly i hate them abroad, more so in impoverished places where plastic bags exist in excess, i'm thinkin of trips to nicaragua, burkina, india, jamaica (where they're aptly termed 'scandal bags' - i guess cause they rustle and crinkle so much, carrying contents secretly is impossible) where I've seen plastic bags in abundance - at the beach, scuttling across deserts, all over the market, on the side of the road, down ravines, embedded into the earth (seemingly taken root and growing like part of the natural fauna) EVERYWHERE.

the problem is so huge a few countries (and one North American city) are taking steps against the proliferation of plastic bags including India, China and Ireland. while i was at home in Vancouver at the end of '06, i was a anti-plastic bag crusader, telling friends, family and strangers to RESIST and RE-USE; do not accept any more plastic bags and use your old ones, better yet, buy a cloth one! More often than not, you just don't need it - toss your purchase in your shoulder bag, your bike basket, your pocket or HOLD it (hence hands). One friend said this was a revelation and was shocked at the response of the grocery bagger when he first began to refuse, "Jamilah, it was like kickin drugs - the dude was like, 'here, take the plastic bag sir, you'll need it! take it!!' and i was all, "no man, i'm cool, it's cool!!' seriously i though he was gonna chase me down..."

But what about all the plastic bags in the dump? One Canadian 16yr old kid has the answer!

blackwater - legal blackhole

Nisoor Square massacre September 16th 2007 - Get the story here

Jeremy Scahill author of bestseller Blackwater: The Rise of the World's Most Powerful Mercenary Army speaks:



Paperback version released today.

the boardroom

i hate the boardroom
now i'm bored
stiff as a board
i play dead
and i play dumb
i needn't -
they assume the latter
i hate the boredroom