i am a killer

i must confess
i shot down our love

i am the python
that swallowed our love whole
and went to sleep

i stifled our love
i smothered our love
i stabbed at
the slight possibility
of love
between us
then watched our love
bleed out
in silence

wrapped in my
cold flexed fingers
i squeezed the
life from our love

a seed planted
and germinated
fledgling
i smashed it
drowned it
obliterated it
-
a giant unaware of
her own strength
swatted in self preservation
and tore down
the sky
then sat up
suddenly
sadly
surprised
hardly knew how or why
-
and still
i don't know
if i hurt
your pride
or some real
deeper
feeling
deeper
inside
beyond the reaches of ego
beyond the reaches of your
mind

and now we sit
six feet above
our love
'friends'
we talk across
the dirt mound
neither mention
'love'

while secretly
i bring flowers
and wonder
how to resurrect
the love
i know I murdered.