not normal

I am not normal.

I do not fit in (-side the box.)

I am not contented by weeks that go by the same (in fact I find the thought disturbing).

I am not amused by banter (in fact banter makes my ears bleed).

I am not interested in the norm (in fact disinterest is not severe enough a word, offended might do).

And I realize that I look outward (at my geographic location, profession or program) at times because it is only when all the tedious routines, all the shallow systems and structures, all the painful patterns fall away and I find myself in some foreign far flung place -

only then am i truly myself, truly at peace.